Kumano's Beef
by Huggykaze
Summary: Kumano, currently on a shipgirl exchange in USA, receives a gift from Suzuya, delivered by her the Japanese admiral on an administrative visit to Pearl Harbour.


The flight from Kansai to Hawaii was quick, but tiring. Hara didn't have many chances to travel with sub-space aircraft, but at least he took several normal flights in his life. Akagi wasn't as lucky, not only being a warship, not fit for sub-space flight, at least for another 170 years, but she was extremely nervous due to lack of experience. After a bit over 2 hours flight, the carrier was ready to start kissing the ground which she promptly bombed around 80 years before. Time was short however, so Hara had to force her to get moving. Another hour later, this time at much more forgiving altitude and speed, their chopper landed in Pearl Harbour.

Being already late, the plan was to head straight towards Admiral Halsey's, the American Shipgirl Project's commander-in-chief, office. Unlucky as they come however, Hara and Akagi were welcomed by a sound of mating dolphins the moment they left the helipad.

"Wooooo↑ooooah↓! Admiral, it has sure been too long since we've seen each other!", a blonde girl with a huge ponytail shouted while walking their way, accompanied by 3 other women, probably shipgirls.

"Good day to you, Kumano-san! I see you are in good health. Mind introducing us to your friends?" Hara welcomed the Japanese aviation cruiser, now part of USN, as a result of shipgirl exchange program.

"Ah, where are my manners, I apologize. The rugged looking one, wearing a hat is South Dakota-class battleship, South Dakota-san. She may not look like it, but she is indeed a fine lady. To her right is a Brooklyn-class light cruiser, Dolphin-san...", Kumano started introducing her companions, only to be interrupted.

"It's PHI-LA-DEL-PHIA, you stupid hybrid! I'm not the one sounding like mating fish!" the cruiser in question protested.

"Dolphins are mammals though.", South Dakota finally opened her mouth.

"This one's a bit rough around the edges, but nothing that a real modern lady cannot handle", Kumano explained her friend's outburst, certain of being right. "The last, but not least, Pensacola-class light cruiser, Pensacola-san.", Kumano introduced the last girl, sipping from a can of Pepsi. "Although, everybody calls her Pepsi."

"Aaah, I wonder why...", Hara sneered. "Right... I'm Rear Admiral Hara of the Japanese Maritime Self-Defence Force, commander-in-chief of the Japanese Shipgirl Project. Next to me is fleet flagship, standard carrier Akagi. Don't let her near the food.".

"Admiral, should I just eat your rations instead?", Akagi asked with a dose of sarcasm, leaving American shipgirls surprised with the casual and loose exchange between C-i-C and the flagship.

"Should I throw in a table too?", Hara paused for a moment. "Speaking of which, Kumano-san, Suzuya asked me to give this to you. Knowing you two, it's a sandwich... Feel free to open it.", Hara passed Kumano a rather large bag he held onto since he left the base.

Kumano peeked into the bag, only to find a box inside. Expecting another of Suzuya's jokes, she slowly opened the lid, preparing for a swarm of spiders or some other disgusting thing. Instead of bunch of eight-legged monsters however, a cloud of chilly steam rose into air.

"A... fridge?", admiral, Akagi and Kumano asked nearly at once. The real gift however, was waiting inside.

"Wooooooooo↑oooooooooah↓!", Kumano shouted.

"Told you, a mating fish.", Philadelphia summed up Kumano's catchphrase.

"It's a mammal.", South Dakota corrected the cruiser.

"It's neither a mating fish, nor a mammal, ladies. It's a real, one and only Kobe beef!" Kumano's excitement skyrocketed. "For Suzuya to come up with an actually thought out gift... She must really miss me. Unless... I hope it's not spoiled...".

"Looking fine to me.", Akagi commented, peeking into the box with dreamy eyes.

"All food's looking good to you, let me see.", Hara summed up his flagship, wondering why is she even with him. "But, this time you're right."

"Oh, the Japanese admiral knows his stuff I see.", Pepsi finally stopped sipping and said something.

"Kumano, you must really love beef to get so excited about a slab of meat.", South Dakota noticed, triggering something in Japanese cruiser's brain.

"But of course I love beef! I actually find myself to be quite a gourmet, my ladies. If you were ever interested, I'd love to go out and try some American beef with you someday!", the cruiser would continue, but was quickly interrupted by the battleship.

"Ooh, such a meat lover! I'd never take you for a girl like that! Do you like some other types of meat aside steaks? Say, sausages?", Dakota asked, causing Pepsi and Dolphin to barely contain laughter.

"Sausages? But of course! All kinds of them, I like the thin, boiled ones a lot, but nothing beats a large one, fried until it releases juices... Oooh, you are making me very hungry now! I always wanted to try... How do you call it here? A hot dog?", Kumano went on, completely oblivious.

"Oh, now that's a surprise, I'd never take you for such person. If we've known sooner, we could have arranged something with the guards, some of them have some high quality meat! That is, if American beef would suit your tongue.", the battleship continued her good fun, causing Pepsi to lose her shit and spit some soda, barely missing Philadelphia.

"I'd love to! Always wanted to try the American sized beef. But... what's so funny about a girl loving meat?", still oblivious Japanese continued digging her grave, Pepsi already on the ground. Seeing the pitiable situation that she's in, Hara decided to give her a little tip.

"Kumano-san... I don't think that those three are thinking of the same kind of meat as you... You know...", he tried to be gentle at first, knowing how easy to embarrass his cruiser is.

"I beg your pardon admiral, but I don't really understand. Obviously we're thinking about the same type of meat!", Kumano protested.

"Kumano... They mean... you know... men body part... It's called 'beef' in United States...", Hara whispered as quietly as he could so nobody else hears that, earning an instinctive slap on the cheek.

"Mooooou! Is it not obvious that I've meant meaty beef, not "beef" beef? You know, the kind that goes well with buns and such!", Kumano just single-handedly knocked out Philadelphia and Dakota, all three Americans rolling on the ground unable to catch a breath. The scene finally, although not immediately, made her realize, that Hara's actually right. Embarrassed and red like a redneck after a day at the beach, he quickly left covering her face with palms.

"GOKIGENYOU!", she shouted while leaving the scene with a bag of beef in her hands.


End file.
